"Your home away from home for Beer, Books, Bread, and Circuses."
since 1188

Monday, December 20, 2010

CIRCUS RIDER now at Amazon.com

CIRCUS RIDER at Amazon.com

Thursday, December 9, 2010

IN THE WIND

IN THE WIND now for Kindle.


(a paperback edition may be purchased at http://www.circusrider.org/)


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

excerpt from CIRCUS RIDER - Introduction

from CIRCUS RIDER, a novel history by Peter Breschard copyright 2010

INTRODUCTORY NOTE

When the original manuscript of CIRCUS RIDER arrived at our workplace, my staff and I were decidedly cautious. In the course of an ordinary week, we encounter numerous historical novels based upon an author’s ancestors and the allegedly amazing, wonderfully wicked, emotionally engaging events which may or may not have occurred. Under usual circumstances, these failures at both history and fiction are rapidly rejected by our editorial process.

So, I am sure you are asking, what is the difference between this volume and the thousands of others which attempt to illuminate long forgotten historical events? I shall explain.

Of the prodigious number of painters the United States has produced since its inception more than two centuries ago, Gilbert Stuart rises head and shoulders above them all. Not only is Stuart acclaimed for his artistic talents, but many of those he chose as his subjects have escaped time’s voracious grasp and managed not to disappear from memory. Their faces are now icons of our nation’s history. Portraits of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams are among the many images Gilbert Stuart created which will linger forever in the American consciousness.

What do Gilbert Stuart and the rest of early American history have to do with the following pages? In 1808, while plying his trade in Boston, Massachusetts, Stuart was approached to immortalize one half of the most famous duo of entertainers ever to perform in these newly minted, and united, States.

Jean Breschard and his partner, Victor Pépin, were highly acclaimed equestrian performers from the world renowned Paris circus of Monsieur Franconi. As had become circus tradition, Breschard and Pépin, having achieved sufficient recognition and experience under M. Franconi, launched their own troop. After two extraordinarily well received seasons in Spain’s capital, Madrid, the Circus of Pépin and Breschard sailed to North America where entertainers of their stature and professionalism never had previously performed.

Stuart’s likeness of Breschard remains incomplete, much like his most famous portrait of George Washington (reference any one dollar bill). When this Boston portrait painter presumed there would be some future demand for original oil copies (which he created himself) of any particular painting, he would leave the background unfinished as a detailed setting was unnecessary to facilitate reproductions. One can only suppose that this great American master foresaw an audience for copies of the Breschard portrait which might well have rivaled that for his most popular work, the portrait of the father of these United States, George Washington.

Fortunately, the story of George Washington has not been lost or intentionally mislaid, which is more than can be said for the history of Jean Breschard. What follows in these pages is the story of a great American portrait by America’s greatest artist. It is a tale of art, war, pirates, politicians, the new frontier; and all the other ingredients necessary for the stew which was this novel democracy. As well as, of course, the circus.

With considerable trepidation, the editorial board and I have left the ordering of chapters as they were when we originally received the manuscript. The author of this work, not the most loquacious of correspondents, has informed us this arrangement represents the progression in which this history was rediscovered and recreated. Although certain readers might experience a minor dose of literary vertigo as they attempt to follow the non-traditional time line, we hope the clientele of this carnival ride will suffer no severe injuries. Fortunately, with fiction, certain liberties may be taken regarding the ebb and flow of chronicled events. Unfortunately, with history; with reputable history; events are best related as they actually occurred. CIRCUS RIDER being a novel history, we elected to follow the less chosen path.

Gilbert Stuart’s portraits immortalize many of America’s most notable players. This is the story of one of them, and of how he was lost, and now he is found.

Walter L. White
New York, NY
2010

from CIRCUS RIDER by Peter Breschard copyright 2010

now available at www.circusrider.org

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Perpetual War - Thanks Democrats and Republicans

Do you even think about the wars? After ten years of occupation of one Muslim country or another, do you ever stop to think about just how wrong these military actions are?

With all the whining from both parties about nickels and dimes and new economic theories coming out of liberal or conservative think tanks on a daily basis, does anyone ever talk about how much those predator drones cost as they crash into another home wiping out the families of somebody someone somewhere thinks may be a terrorist?


How much does it cost every time the current president decides to put out a death contract on another United States citizen without benefit of the judicial process?

But you read and listen to the idiots who hour after hour, day after day, week after week, repeat the same theme, endlessly, that the economy is the most important problem of the day.

Sure it’s the economy.

After all, your tax dollar probably went to pay for that piece of shrapnel which ripped through the brainpan of another child, as unmindful weaponry wiped out the family of another presumed terrorist.

As recently as two days ago these military minded morons didn’t even know who they were negotiating with at the highest level. Yet you stupidly buy their declarations that they know exactly who they are assassinating. And if you dismember innocent children, well, that’s that. Bloody, mutilated, innocents. After all, the economy is the most important topic of the day.

You think that if you don’t allow the professional gunmen to destroy whatever they wish to destroy, dark foreigners will again attack the homeland. Why don’t you simply admit you’ve become a Nazi? Take a look at yourself. You’ve allowed the executive branch of this government to wage war, imprison whoever they want, and assassinate Americans at will, without any judicial or legislative review. You’ve surrendered your rights to your fuhrer out of fear. The leader can kill whoever he thinks is necessary to kill in order to protect the homeland.

And there you have it. The news is composed of the ravings of a photogenic ranter from Alaska, the domestic dramas of foreign royals, and idiots espousing capitalism as if it were part of the constitution, and that’s the way you like it.

Ten years. How many deaths are you responsible for? You’ve been financing this carnage but you feel clean because you are not given the opportunity to witness this bloodbath hourly on the tube.

And now the Democrats say troops will occupy Afghanistan at least until 2014.

Obama had a secret plan to end the war. By now you should recognize it as the same plan Richard Nixon had, keep killing until someone stops you.

Have you had enough of the bloodbath? Have you sucked enough life juice from the necks of Afghanis and Iraqis? Have you returned to sanity following your 9-11 breakdown?

You are killing innocents. You are mindlessly supporting those who protect torturers while bombing children.

It’s all on you now.

It’s all on us.

It is time to stop the madness.

We are destroying this country while at the same time mindlessly killing thousands half a world away.

It is time we try something else.

It’s simple.

Stop relinquishing our rights to the military.

Give peace a chance.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Something a little different

http://nell-miniminis.blogspot.com/

Every now and then it's nice to publicize the magnificent work of my bride, Nell Corkin.
Small packages, very small packages.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

INQUISITION? YOU'RE WELCOME.

When did the heat really come down? Some say it was the Inquisition. Nasty Roman Catholic priests persecuting heretics, Jews, Muslims, and whoever else they felt like putting to the rack. Most folks, when they think of it, believe the Inquisition was born in Spain. How wrong they are.


First they came for the Cathars.

Remember the Crusades? Bunch of Europeans attacking the Middle East? Right? Mostly.

Remember the Albigensian Crusade?

Huh?

You can call the Albigensian Crusade the fifth Crusade if you want. Or number four.

Cathars were a bunch of folks in southern France, northern Italy and northern Spain. If you’ve ever heard of Occitania (southern France, northern Italy and Spain), you get the idea. The Pope in Rome and the very weak King of France (northern district) decided they wanted to expand. They eyeballed some nice real estate along the Mediterranean coast. Possibly the most civilized part of Europe at the time.

Southern France. Cathars had it going. Trading with Africa and Spain and wherever their boats could sail. Language of their own, culture of their own, religion of their own, had their own culture going on. Cathars also traded with the Muslims a bunch.

Nobody knows much about the Cathars other than where they were. What records remain indicate the Pope and company charged the Cathars with being Christian heretics. Probably the usual went down, troops swooped in from the north and the south and what was a viable culture disappeared. Northern France and the Pope’s chunk of Italy ran this Crusade against their neighbors for twenty years.

Cathars were described as being as bad as Muslims are described today. And these were their fellow Europeans. Hell, the Pope and the King used the same play book they published for looting the Holy Land. Get the heretics out of there. Find out who isn’t a true believer and put them to sleep. But how do you find out who isn’t a true believer when they look like us? So, these Crusaders invented the Inquisition.

Yep. Spain has been getting a bad rap for centuries. The Inquisition was invented in France. During a Crusade against folks now considered Frenchmen. Let France take the heat for the big I. France knows how to take heat like that. The Inquisition was created to ferret out French heretics, or whatever the Cathars actually were. Most all the Cathars were supposedly wiped out, and guess what? Nobody remembers the slaughter of the Cathars, because nobody remembers or knows exactly who the Cathars were. Put it this way, the Inquisition worked on the Cathars. In a way.

Why bring this all up now?

Crusades were easy to think through. Go to the Holy Land and wipe out those pesky Muslims. Muslims, you know they’ll start with the Holy Land and then take over everything. What century are we talking about here? Right. The first three or four Crusades. Guess the Muslims gave the Christians too hard a time so the Pope and his pals turned their attention to easier prey.

I can hear them now. Some wise ass surviving Cathar. First they came for the Muslims. Then they came for me. Weren’t they supposed to keep massacring the Muslims? Hey, we may be heretics but even the Pope says we’re Christian heretics. Not us. See, we’ve even got Jesus tattoos. This isn’t right. You’re only supposed to be slaughtering Muslims. Hey, we live on the bloody Riviera!

Too bad. The Dominican Order was given the cool job of following the conquering troops into southern France and finding out who all the nasty heretical Cathars were. They asked a lot of questions and the Inquisition was born. The Dominicans did such a great job moving the Cathars completely underground they went looking for other folks who didn’t please the Pope. Shalom. Thanks to historians like Mel Brooks and Monty Python, we all have an idea of how the Inquisition progressed after that.

So why the history lesson?

Not the reason you might think.

When the Cathars went underground some think they morphed into other things. The Huguenots. The Quakers. The Shakers. All sorts of interesting little groups, many of whom don’t think war is the answer. Hey, that might have been one of the reasons they disappeared when the Crusaders and the Inquisition were wiping everyone out.

Names may have been changed to protect the innocents.
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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

PROTESTANT TERRORISTS TO ERECT CHURCH ACROSS FROM STILL SMOLDERING WHITE HOUSE

August 24, 1815

Hundreds of enraged United States patriots gathered today, across the street from our still smoldering White House, to protest the construction of a proposed Protestant church directly opposite the Presidential Palace, where workmen still labor to rebuild the burned out wreckage.

“It’s like shoving a stick in our eye,” said Charles O’Madigan, an artisan who lives in the District of Columbia, “exactly one year ago, Protestant troops put the torch to most of our city, and burnt the very home of beloved President and his most illustrious wife. These Protestants building their shrine directly across the avenue from that great house is an insult of the first order.”

Such was the majority opinion of those gathered to protest the construction of St. John’s Church, at a site they considered far too close to the not yet rebuilt White House. “Those Protestant Red Coats tried to burn our fair city to the ground,” opined Jean Beauville, a government employee, “and now their co-religionists are rubbing salt into our wounds. It’s just not right. It’s just not right I tell you.”

The protestors were all but unanimous in the opinion that those erecting the house of worship had a right to do so, however, there was also agreement that building a Protestant shrine this close to where the White House has yet to be rebuilt was insulting at best.

“Those Protestants are showing poor judgement in the extreme,” was the last word on the subject, voiced by Abraham Stuart of Maryland, “they want a memorial to their terrorist attack on our White House. It’s just not right.”

****

In a related matter, it has been disclosed that Benjamin Latrobe, the architect for the new church, is not a Frenchman as has been popularly assumed. Mr. Latrobe is from Britain. It is believed Mr. Latrobe is also a Protestant.
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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

CHICKEN BY THE BRICK

Read to the end before you begin. Step-by-step directions are overrated.

If you’ve gotten this far in the book, you’re feeling confident by now. You should have some new skills. You are ready for a challenge. Now is the time to get down, dirty, and bloody. It’s barbecue (grilling) time. (Not to be confused with real barbecue but that’s a whole other item.)

Hey, remember that Brick you wrapped in aluminum foil and used to make one hell of a grilled cheese sandwich?

Well, find it. You might still be using it as a handsome door stop or as a Stanley Kubrick action figure, but now’s the time to put it to its primary function. Cooking. And in this particular case, outdoor grilling (barbeque?).

Go forth and multiply. You’re going to need two bricks for this particular job. So, find another brick. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Mission accomplished. Two bricks at hand. One should already be wrapped in aluminum foil. So wrap the other one so they’re twins. Stand back and admire your work.

If you’re inside, pick up the silver bricks and take them outside to where you should have an outdoor grill ready and waiting. (If you don’t have an outdoor grill, you really didn’t need to wrap that extra brick, just peruse the rest of this for the sheer enjoyment.)

Now what I’ve got is one of those medium size Weber kettle grills. Black. I can almost put my arms around it when it’s cool enough. You know what I’m talking about. Making sure you don’t inflict massive burns upon yourself should be your primary objective in any cooking exercise. If you don’t have similar equipment, modify as you will. I can’t think of everything.

Make sure there aren’t any dead varmints or rotting plants inside your grill. Fully open the vents. You want that air to flow and your fire to roar. Now take hold of your briquette chimney. Cram the top full of as many briquettes as you can. Take a crumbled sheet of newspaper (or other fiery paper item if you’ve given up on reading dead tree products), and stuff that into the bottom of your chimney. Don’t jam it up too much, leave some room for it to breathe in fire before it transforms into ash.

Take out your handy box or book of matches (no lighters, show a little class), and ignite the newspaper. Stand back and admire your work for a minute or two.

Beer me.

Kill a couple of minutes.

After about five minutes check your chimney and make sure the coals are smoking. Wave your hand a dozen inches above the coals. You should be able to feel the heat. The briquettes should be ready for grilling in about 30 minutes. Most of the briquettes will have turned ashy white.

In the meantime go back inside.

Now for the fun part. You should have had the chicken sitting on your counter for a bit. Taking the chill off.

Unwrap the chicken.

See if they’ve included gizzards and the like in the cavity of the bird. If they have, take them out and chuck them. A better cook than you or I would know what to do with this stuff, but you’ll have to communicate with them if you want to find out.

Toss the bird on a cutting board near the sink.

Find the bird’s backbone.

From here on in it’s going to get sloppy and messy. What could be more fun?

What you want to do here is separate the bird’s spine from the rest of the carcass. You can do this with a sharp knife, boning is good, but it might have been a good idea to previously have invested in a pair of poultry shears. (Pair? Collective nounism at its finest.)

Get that spine out of there. (Now it will truly be chicken.)

Flatten the bird with skin side down. You should be looking at the breast bones.

Get rid of them. Shears, knives, fingers. Greasy. Sloppy. Innards. Cool.

Once you’ve detached that breast bone (Very little description here, you have to have the experience yourself.), spread that bird out on the board. It’s called butterflying. You’re turning what was a three dimensional object into something that more closely resembles a two dimensional object. Give or take an inch, verging on the infinite.

Might not be a bad time to rinse the bird, then use some paper towels to pat it dry.

Use a brush or another paper towel to spread some vegetable oil all over both sides of the 2D poultry.

Now if you’ve been paying attention and pre-read these instructions, you should have already combined the salt, pepper, cumin, garlic powder and cayenne pepper.

Rub this tasty combo into both sides the bird. There should be a healthy amount left over.

Wash your hands.

Check the time. If its around half an hour since you started the coals go out and take a look. If not kill some time. Beer me.

When the briquettes are right, spread them out on the bottom of the grill. I usually dump them into one half, the hot side, and leave the other side alone. Up to you. Make sure the cooking surface is in place.

Almost forgot, I like to use is a black flat metal sheet with punched holes in it which is used for grilling fish and the like. You need a flat piece of metal, preferably with holes. You figure it out. Your choice. Have it near the grill.

Grab the chicken and head out to the grill.

Toss the bird onto the hot side. Skin side down. Cover the bird with the aerated sheet of metal. Put your two bricks on top of the sheet. Put the cover on top of the grill.

Set your timer for thirteen minutes.

Beer me.

After 13 put on your gloves. Open the grill. Grab a brick. Toss the very hot brick between your hands until you find a safe place to put it. Concrete and fireproof is usually smart. Do the same with the other brick. Grab the metal sheet and put it on top of the bricks.

Use your tongs to flip the chicken.
Replace the metal sheet and bricks then put the cover on the grill. Set the time for 14 minutes.

Beer me.

After 14 close the vents on your grill. Vacate everything and take the now great tasting bird to wherever you intend to dine.

Cover the bird loosely with aluminum foil and let it sit for eight minutes.

After you and whoever have consumed this bird, you will be proclaimed king by acclamation.

Beer me.



what you’re going to need
one whole chicken (you usually get what you pay for)
poultry shears (say what?)
outdoor grill
briquettes
briquette chimney
matches
newspaper
cutting board
sharp knives
running water
paper towels
aluminum foil
measuring spoons
1 ½ tablespoon large grain sea salt
2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon whole cumin, toasted and ground
2 teaspoons garlic powder
3/4 teaspoon cayenne
cooking oil
flat piece of metal preferably with holes and big enough to cover a chicken
2 bricks wrapped in aluminum foil
heavy leather work gloves (heat resistant)
tongs
plates, knives, forks, napkins
timer
beer
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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

THE FIRST AMERICAN CIRCUS


a novel history of the first American circus
and a great American portrait

 now available in the United States
-----------------
-----------------


THE FIRST AMERICAN CIRCUS


John Bill Ricketts introduced the modern circus to the United States in 1793. His first North American shows were in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where, among others, he entertained George Washington. Everyone’s best guess is that Ricketts was either an Englishman or a Scot. There is some debate regarding his nation of origin. John Bill Ricketts never settled in America and was last reported sailing away to either Europe or the Caribbean in 1799.


In 1807, embarking from Madrid, Victor Pepin and Jean Baptiste Breschard brought their circus to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (sometimes recognized as being part of the United States). Breschard was a Frenchman and Pepin was born in the Empire State, New York.

Ricketts’ Circus and The Circus of Pepin and Breschard were the first two major circus companies to play in North America, specifically in what had recently become the United States of America.

This November PBS will dedicate six hours of national broadcasting to their documentary, CIRCUS. Undoubtedly, some questions regarding the origins of the circus in the United States will be raised.

(Disclaimer: similarities in name between this article’s author and any mentioned subject are duly noted.)

Over the years, John Bill Ricketts has been described by many writers, many times, as operating and headlining the first American circus.

“The first American circus?” What do they mean by that?

Is there an “American” style circus which was created by Ricketts?

No, they’re not talking about an American style of circus. The modern circus, of which John Bill’s company was a fine example, is as European as it gets.

Was John Bill an American who ran a circus?

Nope. (See above.)

What circus historians (say what?) have been trying to say for years isn’t that John Bill Ricketts ran the first American circus. What they’ve been trying to say is that JBR operated the first circus in America (specifically within the U.S.A.).

When Enrico Caruso performed in the United States, he didn’t become an American tenor. Ricketts’ Circus remained a British circus performing in America just like Enrico remained an Italian tenor even though he might have been belting it out within the continental U.S. at the time..

Now who exactly is responsible for the first American circus? (Have I already tipped my hand?)

Since it has been established that there is no particular American style of circus (rodeo?), the first circus operated by (owned and starring) an American (U.S.A.) would probably be “the first American circus”.

Hello, Victor Pepin.

What’s led to a bit of confusion among circus historians is that the Circus of Pepin and Breschard is documented as having played in Madrid, Spain, immediately before its arrival in the Bay State. Circus historians have referred to P & B’s troupe as being a French circus, a Spanish circus, and a European company. My guess is that it has been perhaps too hard for all-American writers to realize that a guy with a French surname (Pepin) could have been a creator of the first American circus.

The Circus of Pepin and Breschard - The First American Circus

Anybody want some Freedom Fries?
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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

WHEN CORPORATIONS ATTACK

(A ROUGH RANT)


Now that we’ve all noticed how much we’re bleeding, you might want to take a look to see what is causing all the damage.


Let’s see, what’s been happening lately?





Afghanistan has become the longest running war ever waged by the United States. Oil is killing much of the life in and around the Gulf of Mexico. A good portion of America’s wealth has disappeared from what was once known as Wall Street.


Now what do all these wonderful events have in common?


In case you haven’t noticed, CORPORATIONS HAVE DECLARED WAR ON THE UNITED STATES.


BP is currently destroying the ecology and the economy of the Gulf Coast.


Every weapon manufacturer and two-bit service company in the world is bankrupting the US by scamming every buck we can print from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.


What was left of the US budget after the Iraq and Afghanistan scams was diverted to the international banks when they threatened to bring Europe and North America back into the Great Depression.


If a bunch of fundamentalist idiots flying airplanes did half the damage to the US as BP has already done, the United States would have attacked England without even passing a declaration of war.


It’s time to get with the concept, corporations are out to destroy everything which the United States has stood for all these years. Corporations are programmed to be killing machines and now they have turned against us. What controls the people of the United States once possessed have been discarded or ignored.


Wake up!!! We are under attack by an enemy who has already subverted a majority of the population. Most workers put their current paychecks before everything else.


And let’s not forget the thousands of American citizens who will die each and every year because the insurance corporations and bankers, and the politicians who work for them refused to allow any form of universal health care to become law in this land.


Start counting the bodies. How many thousands of civilians have given up their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan in what are entirely corporate wars? How many US military gunmen and mercenaries along with the “enemy” combatants in those two countries have died so companies like Halliburton can pay a higher dividend?


Corporations have also attacked our food supply, giving us frankenfoods which contribute to the bottom line of numerous corporations while also contributing to the corporate health care system currently in place. Corporate animal factories may soon become lethal beyond description. The health benefits of bio-diversity inherently conflict with the ideals of mass production and distribution.


Put them all together. What do all of these for-profit corporations have in common? Why do for-profit corporations exist? For-profit corporations exist only to make money. These corporations do not give a rat’s ass about human beings. They don’t support any form of government. For-profit corporations exist for only one purpose, to grind every possible penny out of whatever they control. Anything that gets in the way of corporate profit is to be either bought off or destroyed.


How did this happen? Multi-national corporations is one of the answers. Generations back, even if those who truly owned the corporations couldn’t be touched, the senior management could be somewhat swayed by public opinion. These human beings had to live in communities where pressure could be exerted to keep some minimal form of social control. But now corporate higher ups can be transferred from jurisdiction to jurisdiction at jet speed. And those corporate officers who need to stay in a single jurisdiction usually end up in gated communities surrounded by similar multi-national fugitives. They no longer have the need to interact with society in general. Laws and mores of individual countries mean nothing to these organizations. Quarterly returns are their gods and civilizations.


Maximizing shareholders’ returns doesn’t mean being a good citizen. It means what it says.



Anthropomorphizing isn’t just what Disney does to the animal kingdom. Anthropomorphizing is what the corporate media does every day as they try to portray what are basically computer programs, corporations, as having human emotions. Corporations don’t feel anything. Corporations aren’t a “they”. For-profit corporations are contracts designed to maximize profit. Corporations are greed on paper and in the legal system.


What has happened is the US has entirely lost regulatory control of the business community. It’s as if the Air Force were deciding what missions it wished to undertake. Anyone who believes that left unfettered the for-profit corporate community would not bring back slavery is a fool. Why wouldn’t it?


Enough for now.
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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

OBAMA SAYS OFFSHORE DRILLING IS COOL!

Obama doesn't spill, he uses a napkin.

Isn't he just the most wonderful Democrat you could possibly imagine!

At least Bush didn't promote the flooding of US cities.
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Saturday, April 24, 2010

BREAD/CHEESE/BRICK

Let’s all ruminate upon the simple brick.

Clay and water. Fired.

Pavers of our streets. Mainstays of our walls. Enablers of our shithouses.

Fashion statement for student bookshelves.

Rioter’s friend.

What gets laid more?

But like everything that active, bricks need protection.

First, put your hands on a brick. Regular size (8" x 4" x 2 1/4", if you want stats) , nothing fancy. Red, if available.

Second; wrap-up said building supply in aluminum foil. (Why do we need the brick to be red? Ask a fireman wearing colorful suspenders.)

Easily at hand should be; frying pan (any), butter (real), bread (good), yellow cheese (sliced), yellow mustard (or mustardy mustard, Colonel ).

Now you’re getting the idea.

Fire up that spacious flat thing in your kitchen called the cooktop (burners). It’s usually right above your stove and powered by electricity or some sort of gas. (See chapter, Survival on Big Blue, if you’re having any trouble up to this point.)

Place frying pan on heat source, medium high heat.

Butter. If the butter is warm, like room temperature, spread this cow product on one side of two pieces of bread. Or to be more specific, spread butter on one side of each slice of bread. If butter is colder, cut off around 1/2 inch from stick (assumed) and toss into warming frying pan. Now how hard was that?

Spread some mustard on the unbuttered sides of bread, or on either side if bread previously unbuttered.

Next, grab a couple of slices of cheese and carefully place between two mustardy sides of bread. Remember: you want both the mustard and the cheese to be situated between the two slices of bread and the unbuttered/unmustarded or buttered/unmustarded sides to be on the outside.

By now the frying pan should be nice and hot and the butter in the pan, if butter is in the pan, should be making a little noise. Spread the butter around a bit with the bread/cheese/mustard concoction you’ve just made.

Place the bread/cheese/mustard in the frying pan.

Pick up your aluminum foil wrapped brick and gently place it on top of the bread in the pan. Press down a little. Not too much.

Wait a minute or two, depending upon the heat of the pan, until you start to smell burning bread.

Take off the brick, set on a different burner on your cooktop, and using a spatula or knife, lift up your sandwich and see if it toasted to a color which suits your appetite. (You won’t get this right for a bit, but you’ll eventually figure it all out.)

If it looks right to you, it is right.

Flip it over in the pan.

Put brick back on.

Wait a minute or two. Remove brick. Cheese should have melted some by this time.

Turn off burner.

Remove sandwich from pan.

Let cool a bit.

Eat.

You are now king in the land of the blind.


Additional uses for aluminum enshrouded brick when not being used as a gourmet aid; doorstop, hatholder, Stanley Kubrick tribute, paperweight, mail minder, action figure pedestal.
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Saturday, April 3, 2010

NO SEX FOR DEMOCRATS

After nearly a year-and-a-half of Republicans taking control of the Democratic Party, it’s time for the referees to start calling fouls. After Barack Obama has shown he can hustle more private insurance policies than anyone could ever have imagined and peddle infinitely more patent medicine than any fever dreamed snake oil salesman, it is time to blow the whistle on the Obama brand of corporate Republicanism.


A quick reminder. Doubling the number of troops in Afghanistan under Obama. How many troops are in Iraq right now? (Comparing anyone to George W. Bush should be the definition of damning by faint praise.) Obama’s refusal to prosecute torturers. (A crime in itself.) Predator drone assassinations. Shoveling trillions to Wall Street. (Tax breaks for small business? What Republican in the past hundred years hasn’t campaigned on that canard?) Passing a Health Care Bill weaker than that introduced by Republican Bob Dole over sixteen years ago. How many times does Obama have to prove to us that he really is a corporate Republican?

Forget Obama. It’s time to go Lysistrata on the entire Democratic Party.

Now let’s not get all in a lin tizzy about this. We all know that politicians are a sexless bunch of power junkies who wouldn’t be at all phased by withdrawal of intimate human contact. Pols only care about one thing, votes. It’s time to pull out of the Democratic Party until they promise to come across with something worthy of our affections.

This year, if your Democratic senator, congressman, governor, dog catcher, whatever does not support Medicare for All Americans, and does not pledge to help introduce legislation to that effect, cross your legs, withdraw your essence, and let them know your vote is going elsewhere. Vote Green if you want. Write in if you feel like it. (The correct spelling of my name should be at the top of this article.) Stop supporting the corporate Democratic/Republican party. And make sure you let them know why they’ve lost your support. It is time to act. There is a national election coming up in a few months. Obama and his Democrats have proven that they would rather sell private insurance company policies than campaign for universal health care. Now is the time to pull out of the Democrat Party until they come across.

REFUSE TO VOTE FOR ANY DEMOCRAT WHO ISN’T 110% BEHIND MEDICARE FOR ALL AMERICANS.

MAKE SURE YOU LET THEM KNOW WHY AND WHERE YOUR VOTE IS GOING

It’s game time. How many more American will die because corporations are allowed to run health care?
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Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Lethal Downside To The Health Reform Bill

By not attempting to pass any form of universal health care, President Obama has helped condemn 23,000 Americans a year to unnecessary deaths.

How did this lethal equation come into being?

Why was Single Payer never pushed by the White House?

Why was the Public Option given the most meager of lip service by Obama?

Who decided 23,000 deaths a year was acceptable collateral damage?

Did anyone ever actually say, “Mr. President, if you don’t push for universal coverage, we can get this through and you won’t expend any of your political capital. Only 23,000 Americans will die every year, but that’s OK with us.”

Why aren’t more people discussing the deals made by the White House with the pharmaceutical companies and the hospitals? Did these deals have anything to do with the White House not campaigning for Single Payer or universal health care? Have these deals ever been published on the Web or anywhere else? Or were these the ultimate backroom arrangements which will leave 23,000 Americans a year to die?

Transparency in this White House? I think not.

The argument used is that this pitiful health care reform bill was the best they could do. I’m not going to get into why that is a laughable defense, but we all know, you can’t win if you don’t try. The White House didn’t try. Never once did Obama use his bully pulpit to demand that 23,000 Americans not die each year.

23,000 living Americans are just a bit more important than “bending the cost curve.”

Today 23,000 Americans a year will be allowed to die unnecessary deaths. That’s less than it would have been without this present bill but it is the least that could have been done. It is a meager achievement at best and a massive sales job by the insurance companies at worst.

Today 23,000 Americans a year might have been saved if President Obama had raised his voice in righteous indignation and demanded that the right to health care be enforced in this country.

But instead Obama did nothing to save them.

Obama and all those in government who did not use the power of their positions to demand universal health care, have chosen to allow 23,000 Americans a year to die unnecessarily.

For someone known for his oratory, President Obama kept surprisingly silent as 23,000 Americans a year were left to die.

Congratulations on passing your bill.
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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Greed Needs A Sin Tax

It doesn’t matter if the wealthiest 5% of the people in this country control 70, 80, or 90% of this country’s wealth. It doesn’t matter if they pay more taxes at a slightly higher rate. What matters is how you define greed.

Sin taxes are governmental levies on perceived evil substances such as tobacco and alcohol. People feel comfortable hitting those products with extra taxes because, hey, we all know booze and tobacco are bad for you. We’re just helping you out by making these products more expensive to buy. It’s called negative reinforcement. If you smoke or drink, it’s going to hurt you in the pocketbook when you buy them.
Not only do tobacco and alcohol hurt you, they also harm those who come into contact with smokers and boozers.

Isn’t greed something society should help its citizens overcome? Not only is greed bad for the individual, but greed harms society as well.

Greed is one of the seven deadly sins.

Ask any good Bible reading Christian. Greed is bad. Greed is a sin.
Let’s tax greed. If we don’t tax greed, we might as well not tax tobacco and liquor. Smoking and drinking don’t even make it onto the top seven sin list. Greed is not good.

Back in the glory days of the 50s and even during the mythic days of the Gipper, the top tax rate on income was something close to twice what it is today. Somehow the rich stayed rich but surprisingly, the poor did not get poorer. The gap between the rich and the rest of the citizenry was a whole lot less than it is today. There was still greed, but it wasn’t as rewarded as it is today. Greed was taxed, seriously. And somehow this country and its people prospered.

The more you tax high incomes, the more trivial high incomes become.

It’s time to bring back the 70% top federal tax bracket. This would do wonders for the federal budget and, besides, it’s the Christian thing to do. Helping our fellow man avoid the sin of greed is probably a spiritual work of mercy.

It’s time to seriously tax the extemely rich. Greed isn’t good for any of us.
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Monday, March 1, 2010

So Tax Me for Living

If you live and breathe in the United States you are about to be taxed. Not your income. Not your property. You are about to be taxed simply for living. And breathing. You are about to be charged a fee for your right to life in the United States of America. Welcome to the Breath Tax.

(Disclaimer: Opening up Medicare for all Americans is the only moral and efficient way to deal with the present healthcare situation. Imagine how much money would be saved by putting the private insurance pencil pushers out to pasture.)

Think about it for a second. Forcing every American, under penalty of law, who is not covered by public insurance to be covered by private insurance is possibly the most egregious tax ever levied upon the citizens of these United States. This unprecedented transfer of private funds into the coffers of corporations is the harbinger of the coming of a corporate state.

What Obama’s Democrats are proposing is the equivalent of a tax for living. Never before has any American been taxed simply for breathing. And to add insult to injury, the money will not be going into Federal coffers, it will end up in the pockets of insurance companies, enabling them to finance even more campaigns aimed at extorting even greater sums from Americans.

You breathe, you pay a private insurance company, unless you’re already under Federal protection. Your money or your life. I wouldn’t feel so bad about all of this if at least there were a public option where my money would not be used by private companies who would rather see me die than take away money from their shareholders. At least the Federal government isn’t bound to increase earnings for stock holders. It’s bad enough being taxed to breathe, but to pay the money to corporations, who by law do not have your best interests at heart, well, that’s a little hard to take.

The Breath Tax, certainly has a ring to it doesn’t it? Unless you are over 65, disabled, a veteran, a child, you are going to be forced to pay money to private insurance companies, either indirectly, through your employer, or out of your own pocket.

I hate to bring this up, but Obama’s Breath Tax is a poll tax.

Remember the old poll taxes? Poll taxes were used to keep minorities from voting. Obama’s breath tax isn’t exactly that.

A poll tax is a capitation tax. Poll used to mean “head.” What we’re talking about here is counting heads which is what happens when you go to the polls and vote. No doubt this is a bit confusing but there you have it. The trick is that the US doesn’t use poll taxes. Hasn’t in quite some time. A poll tax is a regressive tax if there ever were one. In other words, Bill Gates and anybody pulling in 40 grand a year are subject to the same minimum tariff. The same minimum tariff to be paid to some insurance company represented by Joe Lieberman.
So there you have some information. The Breath Tax demands you pay money to corporate insurers. Obama’s Breath Tax puts tax money directly into private hands. Today’s Democrats are presenting no other option.
There’s only one way to avoid the Obama Breath Tax.
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Thursday, February 25, 2010

Obama, Slavery, and Health Care

President Obama - The Member from South Carolina will be recognized.

Congressman Blowhard - Thank-you, Mr. President. As has been previously discussed, the report from the Congressional Budget Office clearly indicates that freeing any of the Slaves currently held in bondage within these United States will result in ongoing deficits for at least the next decade. I think we can all agree on this.

Vice-President Biden - We have to reduce the cost curve.

Senator Lame - The people of the United States have clearly indicated their preference. They don’t want any change to the current law. They know that freeing any of the current slaves into the work force will reduce their wages.

President Obama - Now I think we have more areas of agreement here than disagreement. That’s why I’m currently proposing that instead of freeing all of the slaves at this point in time, we come to an agreement that current slave holders should be allowed to purchase as many slaves as possible for the next four years and that all current slaves should at some time in the future be allowed the right to purchase their own freedom through federal exchanges which will negotiate a better price than that which individual slaves would be capable of negotiating themselves.

Congressman Blowhard - What we need are state exchanges which will negotiate under current existing law.

Vice-President Biden - What we all agree upon here is that these slaves are a commodity. I think we can all agree that human life is a commodity? Can we not?

President Obama - Joe, you’re exactly right there. After all, what is human life and well being other than a commodity which at the moment is way out of whack with what this country needs right now. We’re here to figure out how to keep the cost of this commodity to a minimum.

Senator Lame - What we don’t want here is the Federal Government setting the price for our slaves. Individual States know what’s best for their own people. I agree we have to keep the price of this commodity down, but Federal interference is nowhere in the Constitution.

President Obama - I think we can all agree that human beings are a commodity and the price curve should be brought down. Let’s talk some more.
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Monday, February 22, 2010

Should Obama Resign Today?

Today?

Yesterday?

Tomorrow?

You can mark me down as being in the Tomorrow column. Yesterday or Today are a bit too unreasonable for me.

I know Obama being in office for another twenty-four hours means another one hundred and twenty-three people have died unnecessarily because they lack health insurance, but I think the gentleman from Chicago should be given the time to neatly pack his belongings and leave. Having him rush out of town as if an angry mob were after him is not justified. Resigning by tomorrow will be fine with me.

What did we expect? Barack Obama had the least pertinent experience of any elected President in the past hundred years. (If you want to say W was even worse that’s fine. Just remember you’re the one comparing Obama to Bush. I pray Obama is incompetent rather than corrupt.)

Everyone was enamored by the young, good looking, intelligent legislator from the Land of Lincoln . Barack was so much better than George.

Get over it.

Obama is a horrible president. Almost as bad as Bush.

It’s time for Obama to resign.

He’s unfit for the job.


(Abetting torture by not prosecuting torturers. Doubling troops in Afghanistan. Predator drone assassinations. Useless on Health Care Reform., etc.)
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Saturday, February 20, 2010

22,500 Democratic Deaths. And Counting

If 45,000 Americans die each year because they are uninsured, how many of these deaths are now the responsibility of the Democratic Party? Since gaining control of the legislative and executive branches fourteen months ago, the Democrats under Obama have accomplished nothing in stopping these unnecessary deaths. Even giving them eight months to get their act together (Obama’s August 2009 target date), they now have six months of responsibility for uninsured deaths on their hands. That’s 22,500 preventable deaths. And counting.

In a similar vein.

Artists die young.

Why?

Let’s face it, the way this country rewards or punishes behaviors is through the tax code and other financial programs. You can get thousands back from your government if you purchase a certain type of gas guzzler. You can write off from your taxes what you spend on sporting events. (If you are properly incorporated.) You get reimbursed for not growing crops. You can receive reimbursement for college tuition if you’re willing to be employed as a gunman/woman for a few years.

When I read this eulogy, I remembered my friend, Helen. Helen died because she couldn’t figure out how to be an artist and maintain proper health care. She was presented with the choice, work as an artist or stop being the artist she was and waste her energy on jobs where she worked only to be able to afford health insurance. She chose to be an artist. She carried useless health insurance. And so she died.

Shows you how much this country values human life and original thought.

That would be not at all.

And now the responsibility lies in the hands of the Democratic Party. 22,500 so far.

Hey, Olberman! You’ve been harping on the number of days since Bush declared victory in Iraq for years now. I’m not saying you should stop. But lets add a number to your daily routine. March 1, 2010 will be six full months since August 2009.

Number of Preventable Deaths since President Obama said we should have a Health Care reform bill passed.

22,500

And then add 123 more each and every day until Obama’s Democratic Party acts humanely.

22,623

22,746

22,869

22,992

etc.

etc.
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Saturday, February 13, 2010


Your Money or Your Life, Mr. Lime




One of my all time favorite movies is The Third Man, directed by Carol Reed. When Graham Greene adapted his novella into a screenplay, perhaps the world was a more understandable place. The post World War II period never seemed simple to me. Somehow I doubt life was any less complicated back then, but that’s nostalgia for you.

Poor Holly Martins (Joseph Cotton) arrives in multi-occupied Vienna after being offered work by his friend, Harry Lime (Orson Welles). Martins soon discovers that Lime has been run over by the proverbial bus (lorry) and will not soon be delivering on any promised employment.

Moving right along, Martins discovers that Harry Lime was a black marketeer of the most nefarious type. Lime stole a shipment of penicillin and, after watering it down, sold it back to the medical community. Unfortunately the diluted penicillin is possibly worse than worthless and numerous children have allegedly either died or been crippled by Lime’s product.

Harry Lime is portrayed as the most despicable of human beings. A cretinous bug. But this was all back in the 1950s when things were simpler. Back then a scumbag was a scumbag, even if you couldn’t use the word scumbag in polite society.

Harry Lime, the lowest of the low, profiteer and thief.

But let’s hold on a second. That was how hateful Harry was perceived sixty years ago. Let’s have another look at Harry from today’s enlightened corporate perspective.

Was Harry ever convicted of a crime? Absolutely not. Allegations he had stolen penicillin were never proven. Innocent until proven guilty.

Did Harry Lime steal the drugs he was accused of reselling? Again, how Harry came into possession of his product has never been adjudicated.

What was Harry Lime's crime? Multiple jurisdictions, no conviction.

What crime? Harry Lime simply maximized profit with the product he had at hand.

Penicillin was a desirable commodity at that time in Vienna. Lime was in possession of a source for the drug and doctors and hospitals were willing to purchase this commodity at venues considered illegal. Certainly the medical community didn’t have to make these questionable purchases. These medical professionals chose to buy black market drugs. How could they imagine these illegal drugs would be of the same quality and potency as those obtained through legitimate channels? These medicines should have been tested for quality before they were used on unsuspecting children. Obviously, the medical profession was negligent.

So there you have it. Harry Lime wasn’t guilty of anything. All he did was profit on the ill health of those who could afford to pay for his watered down pharmaceuticals.

Today Harry Lime, profiteer and murderer, could easily become an executive for any of numerous American health care providers or drug companies. The Third Man certainly knew how to turn the ill health of innocents into a commodity. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Harry Lime, corporate medicine at its finest!
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Monday, February 8, 2010

Moveon, there's nothing happening here, just Moveon

Today I found in my overflowing inbox another email from Moveon.org. I guess I've been on their mailing list for a long time now.

Moveon began with simple goals. Stop talking about your neighbor's sex life. Stop the war in Iraq, get Bush out of office, etc. In general it's a fine organization meant to appeal to the best in us. Stop unnecessary killing and all torture. Things like that.

Moveon helped organize tens of thousands, at least, of young people to get the Democrats in control of the government.

But today's missive was something else again.

Today I was informed that Moveon was now involved with regulating Wall Street. Perhaps they have been doing this for some time. Maybe I previously had just failed to notice. Today I was told that I should send money to Moveon so they could deal with all the criminals involved in the AIG shell game.

Wow! Somebody has discovered there are a bunch of thieves involved in the financial markets!

Now I certainly applaud anyone who has figured out how to deal with the infinite machinations included within our present financial system. And after I introduce you to them, I have a small bridge I can sell to you in Breukelyn. Moveon has just joined the most disreputable of all social beings, the economic pundits. To say this is a comedown is putting it mildly.

Listen! All of you liberal rabble rousers out there, stick with what you know. I seriously do not want Amnesty International telling me how to clean up the environment. I don’t want Greenpeace asking me for money to campaign for more libraries. Stick with what you are Moveon.org. Do not pretend to be the financial police. And most certainly don’t ask me for money to do something you really shouldn’t be doing. Isn’t that what got AIG into trouble in the first place?
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Friday, January 29, 2010

Why the health insurance companies love Obama

Let’s face it, Obama’s heart was never with health care reform. He has invested approximately zero of his political capital in creating a new health care insurance system. Zero. Nada. Zilch. For the past year, platitudes have been the only words to escape his lips while he vocally supports not a single specific program.

Democratic Presidents, ex-officio leaders of the Democratic Party, are meant to push specific programs. When Obama was first elected he had tremendous political capital and grassroots support. Over the last year he has frittered away all that momentum. Who can get behind the health care bill of President Platitude? There is no bill. Over the past week Obama has mentioned his health care program on numerous occasions. But there is no such program. He stands for nothing. Obama can speak endlessly about generalities. Perhaps he missed his calling. Perhaps he should be penning greeting cards. “Hope!”

Now who benefits from all this? Obama’s opponent in the Democratic primary was Hillary Clinton. If anyone scared the health insurance industry more than Senator Clinton, please let me know. What the health insurance industry needed was a Democratic candidate who could mouth all the right platitudes but who had no particular desire to upset the health insurance industry as it exists today.

All I know is, that after a year, President Platitude has accomplished nothing as far as reforming the health insurance industry is concerned. The insurance companies couldn’t have asked for anything more.
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

From the Circus History Message Board


a novel history of the first American circus

and a great American portrait

now available in the United States

-----------------
----------------

(for Breschard/Ricketts Gilbert Stuart posts, click the "Gilbert Stuart's Circus Rider" link on the upper right hand corner of this page)


27 Jan 2010 - Among the earliest of photographic portraits of circus people are several images of animal presenter Jacob Driesbach. A long-time collector that owned one of them saw fit to bestow an identification of Isaac A. Van Amburgh upon it, having no knowledge of the actual sitter other than his general notoriety. There is no evidence at hand to confirm that Van Amburgh ever sat for a photographer.
The late Stuart Thayer had descriptions of both Driesbach and Van Amburgh. He even found a newspaper reference for the session when and where Driesbach was photographed. Thayer advanced a strong case for his Driesbach identification. Despite overwhelming evidence, others interested in photographic materials refused to accept his findings for fear of alienating the collector.

Thus, the earliest prominent portrait of an American circus owner, as well as some of the earliest photographic portraits of a circus performer are both challenged in their identification. Even with a sound argument at hand, it is often impossible to alter an entrenched mentality until a generational change takes place. Truth falls victim to allegiance, for a variety of reasons, especially in the public eye. Good luck with your establishment of the Breschard identity for the Gilbert Stuart portrait. Fred Dahlinger 
http://www.circushistory.org/Query.htm#3227

Fred Dahlinger is an extremely well respected circus historian.

Generational change does not necessarily need move at a glacial pace.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Obama Resigns

AP 01-21-10 10:35 PM

In a fit of rampant bi-partisanship, Barack Obama announced today that, "I intend to become the first President (not about to be impeached), the first Black President, the first Hawaiian President, of these United States, to resign from office."

Realizing, at long last, that after one year in the White House his only remaining supporters were paid employees of the war/medical/pharmaceutical/insurance/money laundering machines, today President Obama finally made a proposal upon which both sides of the aisle could agree.

"I mean, seriously folks, why on earth did you ever expect someone with as little experience with the top levels of government to be anything other than a poster boy for military industrial complex? They’ve been at this for a long, long time. I was in the Senate for what, a couple of weekends? Truly, I am sorry. The accommodations were wonderful and Michelle and the girls had a great time, but we are so out of here. To tell the truth, I’d rather be on the beaches of the great state of Hawaii."

News of Obama’s resignation was greeted with relief. "Joe Biden’s no great shakes but at least he isn’t going to listen to anything the Republicans have to say." said a senior Senator. This seemed to be the general consensus of most Democrats on hearing the news.

From the other side of the aisle, former Presidential candidate John McCain wished his one time opponent well and "Thank God Barack is doing this. He scared the hell out of us. I mean, was he sleepwalking or what?"

Reached for comment the President presumptive, Vice-President Joe Biden, mentioned something about trains not being available for the additional commute.
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Inscriptions on Breschard, the Circus Rider, not by Gilbert Stuart



There  appears to be a good deal of confusion about the two inscriptions at the bottom corners of this painting. As has been shown by the National Gallery of Art, these two inscriptions were placed on the canvas years after the work was completed. The guesses as to what the names may be are both many and confusing. They were not added by Gilbert Stuart but by someone unknown which is what is meant by "later hand". The names are neither Ricketts nor Breschard. Not even the NGA uses these signatures to indicate who the actual sitter is.

http://www.nga.gov/fcgi-bin/tinfo_f?object=3160&detail=ins

from the NGA

Inscription

in a later hand, lower left: Portrait of / Mr Rickarts / Horse Equestraine [sic] / Friend of the artist / Gilbert Stuart; in a later hand, lower right: Portrait of Rickarts / Horse Equestrian / An Intimate Friend of / Gilbert Stuarts

These indecipherable inscriptions, added long after the painting was completed by someone other than Gilbert Stuart, are useless in deciding who was the sitter for this portrait.
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Monday, January 18, 2010

Non-Comic Strips, Almond Division

Many things in life are like lifting a heavy weight. This recipe is one of them. There are two truisms that come to mind whenever I know I’m about to strain every muscle in my body and possibly sustain minor to more than minor injury. Three things actually. One: Avoid injury. Two: lift with your legs. (If you learn anything from all of this, lift with your legs is as good a lesson as any.) But this recipe has nothing to do with these first two thoughts. Mostly. Number three is what concerns us here. Number three, as we all should have learned a long time ago, reads: Before you lift something heavy, know where you’re going to put it after you have it in hand. You really don’t want to be walking around going, “Where shall I place this awfully heavy object which is causing me such pain as I walk around with it in my hands looking for a place to unload the damn thing other than from where I just picked it up? Ouch.”

We are here to avoid that pain. Know what you are going to do with these almondy wonders before you launch into this recipe. Know that you are going to send a dozen to the neighbors. Know that your nieces and nephews will enjoy them without end. Know that your overweight rival in the office will gobble them down and thus be one step closer to taking six months of medical leave due to the triple bypass. Know that the two women sharing the apartment down the hall are going to be just as pleased as punch.

Do not leave these around your own premises. You may keep a half dozen for yourself and a friend. If you do not disperse these immediately you will end up looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy, a sad cross between an adorable adult infant and the guy from the old neighborhood who still lives in his grandparents’ basement, is at least 200 pounds overweight and gives off vibes similar to a bad slasher movie.

You have been warned.

½ cup unsalted butter (one stick)
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon almond extract
a wee bit of milk
½ cup sliced almonds, roughly chopped
Powdered Yet Drippy Sugar Icing

Take the butter and egg out of the refrigerator an hour before you want to make these. You have to get the ingredients in the mood. Warm them up a bit. Ease into it. None of that, “Honey, I’m home, let’s do it” shit. Room temperature ingredients. This is the French way.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Beat the crap out of the butter with an electric mixer for about thirty seconds at medium speed. If you don’t have an electric mixer, you probably already have massive forearms so I’m not going to help you out.

Toss in 1 cup of flour, all the sugar, your warmed, desirable egg, baking powder, as well as the almond extract. Hit it again with the mixer until completely integrated then toss in the rest of the flour and beat it. Really beat it.

Take this dough and toss it onto a marginally floured cutting board. Chop the dough into four equal parts. Take each one of these and roll it into a twelve inch long roll. You will feel like an idiot but just do it. Take out an ungreased cookie sheet and place the rolls on it about five inches apart. Using the karate chop edge of your hand, flatten the rolls until they’re about three inches wide.

Take out your pastry brush (I know, I know), and lightly paint the now flattened rolls with a wee bit of the milky.

Shove that cookie sheet into that 325 oven and let ‘er rip for 13 minutes, give or take sixty seconds. When you eyeball these toasted tubes, the edges should be slightly brown, like really over whitened coffee. Take them out of the oven then diagonally slice the suckers into 1 (one) inch(“) strips. Cool these babies down on a wire rack (I said, I already know). Drip the disgusting looking icing (recipe follows) all over these puppies. And then get them out of your house.

(Powdered Yet Drippy Sugar Icing - cup powdered sugar, 1/4 teaspoon vanilla, a little milk. Mix sugar, vanilla, and a tablespoon milk together. Add milk a teaspoon at a time until it looks drippingly, disgustingly perfect for slobbering over your almond non-comic strips.)

Then get them out of your house, Doughboy.
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Sunday, January 17, 2010

Breschard or Ricketts? One reason why this matters

One of the most important functions of any government is the education of children. A  major part of the National Gallery of Art's brief is to aid in the development of America's next generation of citizens. When the government starts disseminating incorrect information to children, and this error is discovered, immediate action should be taken.

Now one might think that Stuart's portrait of a Circus Rider is a small thing. One painting out of hundreds of Stuarts out there. What's the big deal?

follow this link: National Gallery of Art - Gilbert Stuart for Kids

This is the NGA own childrens' guide to Gilbert Stuart. The first painting selected is obvious, The Skater. But the second? Even before the portrait of George Washington! Before the founder of this country! Before Adams, Jefferson, Madison and Monroe! Why it's Breschard, the Circus Rider. Amazing. Before George Washington is Jean Baptiste Breschard, the Circus Rider, Circus Owner, Theatrical Impresario, and a major donor to the first public school in New York City. And, look, there's the story of how Jefferson and Lafayette attended the opening of the Walnut Street Theatre with Breschard. Read it yourself. It's right there in the guide for children.

But wait. That's not the story that's there. And the NGA says that the portrait is of somebody named Ricketts, not Breschard. Instead they tell a story of John Bill Ricketts and George Washington. Probably a true story but it has nothing to do with this painting. It's simply a convenient story which the NGA thinks is as good as any to tell children. The facts of the story may be true, but the reason for it being told isn't factual.

It's not right for the National Gallery of art to spread misinformation to children. Or is it?
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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Another Gilbert Stuart Lost Painting

In my most recent book, CIRCUS RIDER; a novel history of the first American circus, the identity of the sitter for a Gilbert Stuart portrait is an object of debate. The two contenders for who’s who in this piece of early American art history are John Bill Ricketts, an Englishman who brought the first circus to the United States in the 1790s; and Jean Baptiste Breschard, who with his partner, Victor Pépin, captivated the newly liberated colonists with their performances from 1807 until 1815. Traveling a seasonal circuit including New York, Philadelphia, Richmond, Boston and Charleston; Breschard, a Frenchman, and Pépin, a native New Yorker, entertained Americans at their permanent circus theatres with years of sold-out performances including equestrian shows, circus acts, classical drama, melodramas, comic plays, hippodrama and lots, lots, more!




In 1970 the National Gallery of Art renamed this portrait “John Bill Ricketts,” disregarding the definitive 1879 identification of the sitter as Jean B. Breschard by George C. Mason (author of The Life and Works of Gilbert Stuart), George Washington Riggs (known as “The President’s Banker” and a founder of the Corcoran Museum of Art) and the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. Mason’s book and the Boston Museum’s exhibition weren’t sufficient evidence for the NGA. Living witnesses to Breschard’s performances weren’t enough. Instead they turned to a small note by T. Allston Brown, a gentleman with a reputation for inaccuracy, and changed the name of Stuart’s painting from "Breschard, the Circus Rider" to "John Bill Ricketts."

The entire NGA identification rests upon unsupported statements by T. Allston Brown as to who owned the portrait previous to George Washington Riggs. According to Brown the last owner before Mr. Riggs was a certain Peter Grain, a Frenchman and artist. This is the NGA provenance and primary reason for changing the identification. http://www.nga.gov/fcgi-bin/tinfo_f?object=3160&detail=prov

Oddly enough Peter Grain’s son, Peter Grain, Junior, spent most of his professional career working as a scenic director at the Walnut Street Theatre in Philadelphia which was built by Pépin and Breschard. If someone could show that Peter Grain, the elder, was a member of the Circus of Pépin and Breschard, it certainly would go a long way to discrediting the NGA provenance based on the words of T. Allston Brown (This was a man who could publish six factual mistakes within a single paragraph. See my January 8, 2010 blog post. ).

By request of Beth Ahrens-Kley who publishes a Gilbert Stuart blog and is currently researching this particular debate, what follows is fairly definitive proof that Peter Grain was a member of the Circus of Pépin and Breschard. Peter Grain would certainly be capable of identifying his old boss, Jean Baptiste Breschard and passing this information along to George Washington Riggs. This should put an end to any justification for the current NGA stand that the portrait is of Ricketts. Any reasonable institution should once again identify the portrait as Breschard, the Circus Rider.

An 1809 advertisement for the Circus of Pépin and Breschard in New York
 


“This Evening, Aug. 2, 1809, Messrs. Pepin, & Breschard, will have the honor to give a brilliant representation of Horsemanship, Vaulting and Dancing.
To which will be added for the first time the New Pantomime of BILLY, or the Reward of a Good Action, performed with combats, &c. by Mr. P. Grain”


and now from the Walnut Street Theatre


This is  only the beginning. It's time to bring back this forgotten piece of history.





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Saturday, January 9, 2010

Bad history

Just for fun I decided to revisit the work of T. Allston Brown, who the National Gallery of Art depends upon greatly for their provenance.

from T. Allston Brown's History of the American Stage, 1870 (nine years after the citation used by the NGA)

Peppin and Burschard. - Peppin and Burschard, with a French Circus, landed in Boston in 1806, from Spain. They performed in conjunction with West, at Philadelphia. Peppin built the Walnut Street Theatre. Peppin had a thorough military education. He was an officer in the cavalry of France. He was born in Albany. His parents were French. They left Albany for Paris when Peppin was two years of age.

http://www.circushistory.org/History/Brown.htm#P


Aside from not knowing how to spell Pépin or Breschard, getting the year they arrived in the USA wrong, 1807 not 1806, Pépin and Breschard together not ever working with West, both Pépin and Breschard building the Walnut Street Theatre in Philadelphia, not Pépin alone, and Mrs. Pépin having never gone to France, I guess the rest of his piece is correct.

For someone who is relied upon as a source for the Smithsonian, getting six facts wrong out of a possible ten is a poor, poor performance.

This is the author the NGA uses to negate Mason, Riggs, and the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston.


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