Are All Capitalists Scumbags?

We have become unstuck in time. The dj plays the same eight bars over and over and over again. There is no progression. Immature minds dominate the discussion and an entire nation has become fixated on problems which at one time would have been decided in moments and now explode upon the national consciousness in an eternal loop of noise and flashing lights. The accountants have taken over the asylum and all they know how to do is count pennies.

When Jesus Christ drove the money changers from the temple, how was he to know they would all end up on Wall Street and in the Oval Office?

For the record there are certain occupations which will exist for the foreseeable future. There will be firefighters. Probably police. Certainly garbage collectors. And sewer workers. And, one way or another, there will be money changers.

Money is simply a tool. Like interstate highways or contract law, money exists to facilitate social existence. Money is not an end to itself. It should never be a reason for either vetoing or promoting vital national interests. When was the last time someone immediately created a spreadsheet when a major hurricane hit? Were accountants the most necessary professionals following Pearl Harbor?

Jesus Christ has already put these bean counters in their proper place, and it’s not anywhere near where major decisions should be made.

The United States has become a nation which focuses on the sewer system at the expense of creativity and stability. When those in charge of designing Paris sought to put their vision into effect, of course they kept the sewers in mind, the sewers will always be a factor, but first came the vision. In today’s U.S., the sewers of money have taken over the conversation and the vision has been discarded by those who can only see as far as the pennies in their hands.

Are all Capitalists scumbags? Probably not. But anyone who describes themself as a Capitalist might very well be. Citizen. Parent. Republican Democrat. Conservative. Liberal. Progressive. Golfer. Humorist. These are some of the choices one might take to describe oneself. Why the hell would anyone describe themself as a Capitalist? “Hi! My name’s Fred and I’m a Capitalist. I believe we should pile together all the money we can, take as much as possible for ourselves, and fuck the rest of you. Hi! I’m Fred, and I’m a Capitalist.”

Never forget that Wall Street isn’t filled with the masters of the universe, it’s populated by immature egoists who think the money is all green, and as long as they can get theirs, who gives a fuck? That’s about as elegant a thought as you’ll ever get from those money changers.

Think about it this way. We all have to stop Global Warming. That’s the goal. If we don’t, there will be billions of dead grandchildren. How to do it is the problem. Shut down coal. Solar. Wind. Geothermal. All of the options have to be taken into consideration. These are critical times. Life and death.

And if some Capitalist says coal is cheaper and we should keep those smokestacks blowing cause there’s a market and all that, well, what can I say, that’s pretty much the definition of a scumbag.


Money is an important tool. But only scumbags put it before the air we breathe and the earth from which we derive our sustenance.

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