There’s No Reason to Vote

The vast majority of eligible voters didn’t vote for Trump. The vast majority of eligible voters didn’t vote for Clinton, either.

40% of possible voters said piss on all of them and sat on their hands.

Now that Hillary is history and the Chump is well on his way to impeachment or resignation, it looks like the citizens who didn’t cast a ballot for either of them are the real winners after all. Bye bye, major party candidates.

There are any number of reasons why eligible American voters don’t bother but there’s one de-motivator which doesn’t receive enough attention.

Way back when, Bill Clinton and his cronies decided on a strategy of shifting the Democratic Party just a little bit farther to the right in order to pick up a handful of Republicans who were turned off by the Bible thumpers and fellow travelers in their party. Who knows? Clinton’s scam might have been good politics for an enlightened Arkansas.

After Bubba defeated Bush the Elder (mostly thanks to a little guy by the name of H. Ross Perot who was also running and shattered the Republican vote), the Clinton brand of corporate liberal Republicanism (we want choice but won’t make it law) suddenly became enshrined by the leaders of the Democratic Party. 


“We won! We won! Corporate Democrats are the way!” 

Well, so far, not so good.

With the exception of Obama (Remember Romneycare?) the Democratic Party has been losing ground at a stunning rate since Clintonism (we’re just a little to the left of George Wallace) took control. 

The Senate. Gone. The House. Gone. Governors. Gone. State Houses. History. 


There have been so many Democratic losses as to make that party’s former power seem but a distant memory.


Here’s a test. Instead of pointing out the slight differences between the two major parties, think about how much their leaders currently have in common. Pro for-profit health insurance. Pro death penalty. Pro Middle East adventurism, and on and on. All financed by Goldman Sachs et al. How Republican of them both.

But, wait a second, it turns out that all of that is not what rank and file Democrats actually support. The majority of Dems want Medicare for All. Most of them, along with most states, could live without the death penalty. Middle Eastern war games? Not so much. And by all means, tax the living shit out of Goldman Sachs.

Real Democrats are so much farther to the left than the party’s Clintonite leadership that it’s almost no, not almost it’s really, really funny.

But, even in the face of so many losses, the Clintonistas still put the blame on others. They couldn’t possibly be wrong. After all, the corporations and the donors give them almost as much money as they give to the Republicans.

Another thought. Instead of constantly losing by chasing the three or four liberals who remain in the Republican Party (Republicans tend to vote for Republicans anyway, you blithering idiots), why not offer Americans a real choice?

Instead of veering right in hopes of luring that loose GOPer, try going the other way. 40% of eligible voters don’t vote. And that’s for Presidential tilts. Lesser elections, lesser percentages. There are more people not voting than voting for either party. 

But the Democratic leadership ignores the forty percent and wrap themselves in Republican Lite robes in hopes of attracting more Wall Street moolah.

It isn’t working, morons.

How many former Democratic voters have stopped pulling the handle because they no longer see enough of a difference between the two parties for them to bother to vote?

Imagine if the Democratic Party actually offered a real choice rather than a faint Republican echo. Imagine if that non-voting 40% was actually presented with a stark difference. No longer Trump versus Trump-lite. No longer massive health insurance premiums versus 1% less massive health insurance premiums.


Imagine if the Democratic Party ran candidates who actually represented the views of actual Democrats. Maybe a small fraction of that 40% might be inspired enough to vacate their Barcaloungers. If Democrats could actually show that “they’re all the same” no longer applies, it might just motivate a few of the fallen. If Democrats could attract just a few of the non-voters, instead of chasing the white whale swing Republican, perhaps the losses might stop. Imagine if the Democrats could get a mere 2% out of that dormant 40 to pull the lever in their direction. Things might just become a whole lot different.

Bill Clinton is a most charming man, but he is an idiot. The Clintons and their ilk have just about destroyed the Democratic Party. It’s time for all of them to concede defeat and just go away.

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Beware of Pickpockets!

“Welcome, welcome, you tremendous people! Thank you so much. You are about to witness the most magnificent show conceivable even in the most spectacular parts of your fabulous imaginations!” El Dunno, the world’s most famous organ grinder, reached into his inside pocket and took out a peanut for his monkey.

“Look! Watch his hands. Fascinating!”

While he cranked his organ, and did his spiel, the grinder’s impish primate took the goober from his master’s outstretched digits. He jumped upon his master’s shoulder then dismounted with a full somersault and twist. The chimp skipped into the center of the audience on the crowded sidewalk, doffed his fez, and approached each spectator, seeking donations.

“Isn’t he the cutest thing ever?” “I wish my kid was so talented.” “Do you think a dollar is too much?”

And so days passed. El Dunno, the most fabulously tremendous organ grinder ever to grace the Manhattan streets and his wonder chimp, El Manquee, would delight innocent tourists for up to twenty shows a day. What could be better than free, innocent entertainment? If you wanted to donate a buck or two, well, that was entirely up to you.

And so it went for eight years. Until they were replaced by a different grinder and monkey.

A few years later, on the occasion of his retirement from the rackets, Phil the Dip came clean about the whole El Dunno setup.

“You have no idea how hard it is to find a grinder who’s up to the part. You know, people think the act is the chimp, but it’s the grinder. All the time he’s cranking that organ and the monkey’s working the crowd, the grinder keeps the audience occupied with whatever nonsense pops into his noggin at the moment.

“When the chimp, El Manquee, is panhandling the tourists, El Dunno rambles on about how Santa Claus is an illegal alien. Or how every white boy in this country can grow up to be a billionaire. Or even, this is my favorite, how folks who have less than you are responsible for causing all of your problems. Including hemorrhoids or your daughter’s inability to date anyone other than a minority. The trick is to get the marks minds into a primitive haze where they are only vaguely paying attention to what’s going on around them.

“All the tourists would be lulled by El Manquee passing the fez and El Dunno chattering on and on about how life’s problems can be so simply solved.

“I ran a small crew back then.


“With so few people paying cash these days, folks tend to forget about pickpockets. Let me tell you, it’s not as easy now as it was when I started. Cash was king then, but if you know what you’re doing, you still can make a living.” Phil the Dip enjoyed talking about his former profession.

“Anyone who can create a distraction like El Dunno did is worth their weight in diamonds. I used two of my crew to fleece the crowd and a third for the drop. Tourists usually carry more cash than the average schmuck. People forget credit cards and cell phones bring a good price as well.  


“The marks couldn’t take their eyes off of El Dunno and his monkey tricks. They didn’t pay the slightest bit of attention while we robbed them blind.


“I don’t know what El Dunno is doing these days. I know the monkey died. With a spiel like his, he might have gotten into politics.”

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Pro-Obamacare Demonstration Outside White House

“This was today’s headline, ‘Healthcare Advocates Demonstrate Outside White House Demanding Obamacare Be Expanded.’ Following a protest outside the White House today, we had a chance to sit down with one of the organizers. This spokesperson agreed to our interview only under conditions of complete anonymity. We agreed to his request. Welcome.”

“Thank you, Charlie.”

“You are most certainly welcome. We just want to reassure you that our viewers will only be seeing a vague outline on their screens and your voice is being electronically altered so that it will be entirely unrecognizable.”

“I appreciate your efforts.”

“So, there were a few hundred representatives of your organization marching outside of the White House today. What message were they attempting to deliver to President Trump?”

“Well, Charlie, as I’m sure you know, the demonstration in Washington was all about Obamacare and why it should be kept in place. We’re hoping to convince President Trump and the rest of the Republicans just how much it would hurt the health insurance business if Obamacare were to be repealed.”

“But aren’t the insurance companies you represent complaining about how much money they’re losing? I mean every day we read about companies withdrawing from the exchanges? What about that?”

“Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, what business person in their right mind would ever say they’re making too much money? If you want to raise consumer prices, anyone savvy about business will always complain they’re not making enough money. I mean, come on, Charlie.”

“And the companies withdrawing from the health insurance exchanges?”

“There really isn’t any need for more than a single insurer to be on any individual exchange. When one organization withdraws from one market, you’ll see a complimentary withdrawal on a different exchange. Some might call this monopolistic; we prefer to call it efficient.”

“But why the need for this demonstration now?”

“Obamacare has a long history. Even when this program was first called Romneycare, Republicans have had to travel down a very narrow road. You have to realize, Charlie, that Obamacare is the largest raid on the U.S. Treasury ever made. When the Affordable Care Act was signed, the health insurance companies were basically given a blank check to charge as much as they wanted along with millions of new customers who were being forced to buy their product. As long as the consumer had no idea how much the Federal government was being charged, they really didn’t care what the costs were. As long as enough Republicans and Democrats were in our pockets, they didn’t care either. We’re probably talking trillions over the next decade.”

“But what about all those who couldn’t get insurance before Obamacare?”

“Charlie, that was the finest brand of snake oil ever sold. Even before Obamacare, everyone could buy health insurance. For a price. The price for those with situations like pre-existing conditions was exorbitant. Out of the reach of almost all individuals. All Obamacare did was shift that cost to the Federal government. The insurance was still out of control expensive but the consumer never saw the bill. Big checks were sent to the insurance companies along with millions of new customers. There were absolutely no cost controls. We were in pig heaven.”

“And now with Republicans threatening to repeal Obamacare?”

“Grass roots Republicans are demanding the repeal. It’s like a fever. It took a very long time to convince Democrats that Obamacare/Romneycare was actually a Democratic program. Unfortunately, along with that, a lot of Republicans seem to have forgotten that it’s actually a Republican program. Those folks were out there today to remind them.”

“And your prognosis for the future?”

“Charlie, the health insurance companies I represent are fairly certain Obamacare will remain. There’s far too much money being made for the entire program to disappear. We’ve just sent a few hundred of our interns out to the White House today to remind everyone who’s writing the checks.”

“So today was a gentle nudge?”

“Yes, indeed it was, Charlie. They can call it Obamacare. They can call it Romneycare. They can call it Trumpcare in big, gold letters. We don’t care as long as they don’t cutoff our pipeline to the Treasury. Wake up, Republicans. We’re the ones who send you all your money.”

“Well, that pretty much says it all. Thank you for being here. And thanks to all of you for watching. Goodnight.”


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