Big Pharma Will Kick Donnie’s Wimpy Ass

Jimmie the Jerk was having a hell of night the other day at P.J. Clarke’s barroom.

Now that the initial shock was over, it was time to find out exactly how small Donald Trump’s digits really are. At least according to J the J. The folks at the bar were listening.

“They’ve promised Donnie the Dim the reins of power. For this New York minute, he’s lost somewhere up in the clouds, but the first time he tries to dick in one of his big campaign promises, he’ll be smashed down to reality by the real BigBoys. We’ll show him just how powerless  limp dicks like him really are. They’ll rub his nose in their shit and make wee Donnie smile and thank them for it.”

Jerry the Jerk is a vice-vice-president at a multi-global pharmaceutical monolith which currently charges America’s people one hundred times the price they charge citizens of other industrialized nations for the exact same scripts. These are the real drug pushers who control the street. J the J is one of the guys in charge of making sure chumps like Trump don’t rock the boat.

He explained to the room exactly how it would work.

“We’ll all go sit with him in some dumpy, second-rate D.C. conference room. He’ll do his song and dance about how we have to lower our prices for the good of the American people, and how he’ll conduct the negotiations. He’ll spit out almost sentences for fifteen minutes or less. We’ll nod, look serious, or smile, depending on whatever. Then he’ll leave. We’ll cut a couple of checks to Priebus and the other boys, and that will be that. And we’ll keep charging whatever the hell we feel like charging. Life or death, kids. Pay or die. We own this country.”

That sounded kind of harsh to a lot of the folks at the bar.

“We cut off the Trumpette’s balls years ago. You don’t get to operate the way little punks like Donnie do without our friends and investors controlling all the operating funds. Putzes like Chump and the gunsels that surround him lick our asses and drop their pants whenever we want them to.”

How do you do it? You can’t intimidate the President. The patrons needed to know.

You don’t call the President of the United States a punk.

“If a chump like Trump thinks he’s enough of a man to take on the drug companies, well, we’ll just have to show the whole world that the sign on his building shouldn’t read “Trump”. Change it to read, “He’s Our Bitch”. That would be a whole lot more of truth in advertising.”

Everybody drank.

“Little Donnie Boy isn’t going to tell Big Pharma where to get off. Trumpette will just keep being another punk in the prison shower room bending over to pick up the soap.




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