Obama, Slavery, and Health Care

President Obama - The Member from South Carolina will be recognized.

Congressman Blowhard - Thank-you, Mr. President. As has been previously discussed, the report from the Congressional Budget Office clearly indicates that freeing any of the Slaves currently held in bondage within these United States will result in ongoing deficits for at least the next decade. I think we can all agree on this.

Vice-President Biden - We have to reduce the cost curve.

Senator Lame - The people of the United States have clearly indicated their preference. They don’t want any change to the current law. They know that freeing any of the current slaves into the work force will reduce their wages.

President Obama - Now I think we have more areas of agreement here than disagreement. That’s why I’m currently proposing that instead of freeing all of the slaves at this point in time, we come to an agreement that current slave holders should be allowed to purchase as many slaves as possible for the next four years and that all current slaves should at some time in the future be allowed the right to purchase their own freedom through federal exchanges which will negotiate a better price than that which individual slaves would be capable of negotiating themselves.

Congressman Blowhard - What we need are state exchanges which will negotiate under current existing law.

Vice-President Biden - What we all agree upon here is that these slaves are a commodity. I think we can all agree that human life is a commodity? Can we not?

President Obama - Joe, you’re exactly right there. After all, what is human life and well being other than a commodity which at the moment is way out of whack with what this country needs right now. We’re here to figure out how to keep the cost of this commodity to a minimum.

Senator Lame - What we don’t want here is the Federal Government setting the price for our slaves. Individual States know what’s best for their own people. I agree we have to keep the price of this commodity down, but Federal interference is nowhere in the Constitution.

President Obama - I think we can all agree that human beings are a commodity and the price curve should be brought down. Let’s talk some more.
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