Hundreds of enraged United States patriots gathered today, across the street from our still smoldering White House, to protest the construction of a proposed Protestant church directly opposite the Presidential Palace, where workmen still labor to rebuild the burned out wreckage.
“It’s like shoving a stick in our eye,” said Charles O’Madigan, an artisan who lives in the District of Columbia, “exactly one year ago, Protestant troops put the torch to most of our city, and burnt the very home of beloved President and his most illustrious wife. These Protestants building their shrine directly across the avenue from that great house is an insult of the first order.”Such was the majority opinion of those gathered to protest the construction of St. John’s Church, at a site they considered far too close to the not yet rebuilt White House. “Those Protestant Red Coats tried to burn our fair city to the ground,” opined Jean Beauville, a government employee, “and now their co-religionists are rubbing salt into our wounds. It’s just not right. It’s just not right I tell you.”
The protestors were all but unanimous in the opinion that those erecting the house of worship had a right to do so, however, there was also agreement that building a Protestant shrine this close to where the White House has yet to be rebuilt was insulting at best.
“Those Protestants are showing poor judgement in the extreme,” was the last word on the subject, voiced by Abraham Stuart of Maryland, “they want a memorial to their terrorist attack on our White House. It’s just not right.”
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In a related matter, it has been disclosed that Benjamin Latrobe, the architect for the new church, is not a Frenchman as has been popularly assumed. Mr. Latrobe is from Britain. It is believed Mr. Latrobe is also a Protestant.
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