Some folks should never get anywhere near a carburetor either. Or a fuel pump. Or a radiator. Or a transmission. You pick whatever part of an automobile you want and some folks shouldn't touch it with a ten-foot long socket wrench.
Now, let's get something straight right from the jump. Phil is one hell of a smart fellow. As far as brains packed into cubic centimeters, you're not going to find a brighter bulb if you searched all around for a month.
Phil knows his history. He knows philosophy. He's studied politics. He's even taught law. You're not going to fault the guy on the academic side, that's for sure.
And personable? You bet. He's got a smile and a set of teeth which could send the hearts of an entire convention of orthodontists all atwitter. Phil can make a whole room happy just by walking into it. There's probably not a digit big enough to describe the number of mothers who imagined Phil with their daughters.
Phil is an extremely intelligent, well studied, personable, charming guy.
Which might be part of the reason he shouldn't be elected dog catcher.
Just like people with absolutely no experience as mechanics shouldn't be paid to put a wrench to an engine, Phil really shouldn't be elected to the post of dog catcher.
Maybe it has something to do with getting your hands dirty. Phil just isn't the kind of guy to actually be able to do the job. Why? Good question. Have any of you ever seen Phil with a dog? He certainly has made a lot of speeches, but nobody has ever come forward and claimed that they've actually ever seen Phil within twenty feet of a dog. If you're going to be the dog catcher around here, you've really got to get a lot closer to the animals than Phil ever has been. You can't deliver a lot of feel good speeches and expect a pack of rabid dogs to lock themselves up in a cage without any human intervention.
You have to get your hands dirty. You've got to go running after the dogs and throw a net over them. You've got to bring those curs down. You've got to break into a sweat and face a pack of bared fangs that want to rip your throat apart. You have to get out of the office, lose your cool, and get down and dirty with a pack of wild dogs.
Phil, as we've all seen, is incapable of any of that.
Just like you wouldn't let any fool with no experience work on your car, you shouldn't elect Phil dog catcher.
Some folks say because he was elected dog catcher last election we should elect him this time around.
But the question remains, has anyone ever seen Phil anywhere near a dog?
Don't elect Phil again.
Are you better off with all those rabid dogs running around?
Don't elect Phil dog catcher again.
Thank you.
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